Self Esteem - What might It be Like to Really Love Myself?
The love of my life.
Recently a few friends were talking about marriage, and I heard myself saying, "I had married myself a short while ago." I surprised myself once i said it, as I really didn't have a ceremony as such, but it did dawn on me that inside a subtle way and also over a period of time, I had in fact had a 'Commitment Ceremony with Myself'.
They were intrigued with my statement, and before I knew it, I became explaining that, like many individuals, I had longed for a partnership with that one special person, and all that that involved. I'd in my mind my report on what I needed and wanted, and yet another list of all my disappointments and heartbreaks. Lists stuffed with dreams, hopes and cynicisms. An ideal person, the perfect relationship and my perfect life took part and out of my daydreams for countless years.
I thought about the weddings that I had attended, as well as the vows that people make and wondered what the probability was that somebody could indeed fulfil those promises. To like, honour and cherish, in sickness as well as in health, for richer or poorer, for much better or worst. To become faithful and keep themselves simply for the other. For God to approve the union as well as a warning that no man can put asunder. It's interesting we all believe to some degree that there really is a person who can love, honour and cherish us all the days of our lives. Interesting, mostly since it probably never occurs to all of us that we are incapable of loving, honouring and cherishing ourselves all the days of our lives. It can be somewhat amazing to consider that we can stand before God fully believing we have been capable of loving someone else like that, and offering up our full and heart felt commitment. It's a lot more amazing that we go about doing believe that someone will be able to fulfil that commitment.
Back in the day of reinventing myself, I had to get totally honest with myself as I explored the many facades, illusions and erroneous beliefs i had about myself. Furthermore, i had to get very clear regarding the difference between what I wanted, in contrast to what I thought I desired. I needed to set clear goals, and I needed to dump lots of baggage. Ultimately, I want to to not only know myself, but first and foremost I needed to like myself.
It requires time, it takes attention also it takes determination. I personally got to a stage where I not simply achieved this, however also considered that I can even push it further and explored the possibility of 'Loving Myself'. No, I do not mean arrogance, vanity, self-centeredness or selfishness (those things are insecurities dolled up as self-confidence).
My thought of marrying myself is about commitment; making promises and committing to pay attention to living those vows each day. Initially, when I chose to make changes in my well being, I wanted to improve my wellness energy levels. On this process, I then decided to actively pursue well-being on all levels: creativity, financial and business success, improved relationships and a beautiful peaceful home life.
In bringing all this about, I also made drastic alterations in letting go of things that impeded or prevented my success. Once these products were put into place, the simpler it all became. The higher I felt, the more I could add to my list of what I needed and wanted, and also the easier it became to realize those goals. As my self-confidence and self-respect grew, my list of obstacles became better to deal with.
Respect and Self confidence
As a child, I was taught rrt had been selfish or bad manners to set my needs before the needs of others. It was vain to think i was anything special, and speaking about my achievements was thought to be bragging. Pleasing other folks suggested that I was kind and likable, so I learned very early in life to detach myself from myself. I was raised feeling guilty basically thought that I had something which someone else didn't have. I am unable to remember leaving food over a plate without feeling guilty about the starving children in India. Although I really do believe that it is important to be considerate and humble, I would not believe that this requires us to be disrespectful to ourselves.
Somehow the good intention of learning to be kind, considerate and fair has grown to be jumbled in our brains. Many people have interpreted these good teachings to imply other people are more important than we have been, our opinion is less valued compared to the opinions of others or put simply that we have been programmed to believe that we are less and our everyday life are less. Caused by such thinking results in a lack of self-respect and low self-esteem.
Some people live their lives like they're assistants to other people. Many people have fantastic opportunities presented, however they just can't recognize or accept them. How many times do amazingly brilliant or talented people never get to show the world their work? How common could it be to be capable of loving someone, and not ever experience being loved in return?
Low self-esteem or lack of self-respect serves no purpose. Putting yourself last, keeping the least amount, keeping your ideas quiet or making yourself 'Small' by any means, serve no purpose.
Small you allow yourself to become, the less you will have to contribute to anyone else. So, your investment 'I'm kind, humble, considerate and fair' image you happen to be giving yourself as it is easy to be generous if you have little to offer. Deficiency of self-respect is nothing more than stifling your individual spirit.
No matter how much we focus on our physical reality, it really is almost impossible to ignore the spiritual part of being. Yes, we're all spiritual beings here on the planet Earth, and we are all using a physical experience. However, the spirit within is constantly whispering and it is always with us to honour our put on the Earth and to honour our own existence. Low self-esteem is an insult to this great gift of life that we each have been given. It's a unique and individual journey. Nobody is here to experience another woman's life; you can support and assist others, but you do not sacrifice your lifetime to live for others.
I have made a point about self-esteem and self-respect, when i believe it is impossible being happy if we will not have respect for ourselves. Self-confidence is not about who you were or whom you will be, it is about being comfortable within your own skin, and placing great value by yourself existence regardless of who or what your location is.
If I were ready to commit to myself just how two lovers commit in marriage, then my vows could possibly be:
I (name...) promise myself to honour and present gratitude for the privilege of having this life.
Let me view my existence as my most precious and valued gift,
and i'll endeavour to add my unique qualities for this process.
My intention with this journey is to accept love, happiness and peace within daily.
I will operate from the place of respect and honesty with other people and myself,
and I will be genuine and thoughtful within my actions.
Because I love, honour and respect myself
I consciously allow my heart to reach out and fill others.
I (name...) vow right now to fill my body with all that promotes health and vitality.
I will spend on myself to treat my figure as my most sacred temple.
I will fill my mind with and look after thoughts that inspire creativity, wisdom and data and optimism.
I will speak of health, wealth and happiness and share such words effortlessly I meet.
Fortune, success, prosperity and exciting opportunities will likely be embraced and received fully.
I'll actively pursue quality relationships, enjoyable work and stimulating experiences.
I will be gentle and kind with myself, and allow myself to relax and stay peaceful.
I will seek pleasure and excellence during my work as well as my play.
Today I make my pledge to myself, as well as in my heart I will carry forward my commitment throughout each of the days of my life.
Today I make my pledge to myself, as well as in my heart I will carry forward everything that I am and all that we will become to add to life my best in all things.